Sanity Check

When I told my therapist that people on series and movies mentioned me by name, she said that as long as they were talking about what to buy or who to vote for it was probably just the new personalized ads they were inserting in streaming video. We agreed that as long as characters in sitcoms and cop shows only talked to me about immigrants and hidden genetic manipulation it meant my medications were still working. She suggested I could turn off the speaker in my shower. That way, if I heard anything there I might be sure it wasn't coming from my TV, my phone, my watch, or anything else. I said I would, knowing that I wouldn't: rooms without anything listening to me and talking back made me feel too lonely. She knew that as well, but said nothing.

I thanked her and closed the video call, terrified and disappointed. I had hoped I was having another crisis.

The real world being what it was, I took some of my guns from their racks and began cleaning them again. The murmur of threats from my phone felt louder by the hour, and I wondered if I might need to buy more. Three hours later I said yes to the tenth ad, partly so they would talk about something else for a while.